Jan 29, 2007

Thoughts of Kevin

Danielle and Kevin 1996 SPHS Snow Week

I have so many questions that will never be answered. What was he thinking and how could he be so deeply depressed, yet still able to hide this from his family and friends? This tragedy does not define Kevin’s life because the Kevin that I know is not capable of carrying out this act. Feelings of guilt and constantly going over what could have been done to prevent him from doing this have been occupying my head. Kevin’s death cannot be in vain, if you need help, get help, there is no shame. If you know someone that needs help, help them. Err on the side of caring too much, go with your gut, it isn’t prying, it’s concern. Kevin’s death has sent a shockwave through a group of people, so vast, that I don’t even think he realized the amount of friends that he had amassed through is thirty short years on this earth. This isn’t the first time that we have felt Kevin’s impact though. Kevin had the most energetic, infectious personality and people were drawn to him. Kevin was an extremely loyal, dependable and sincere man, who displayed unfailing friendship to many. I have two sons of my own now and I can only wish that they will have the type of drive and dedication that Kevin displayed. Connie and Russ you should be very proud of the son that you raised. Remember Kevin’s laugh and that smirk he ALWAYS had on his face, what a great guy! Anyone that can count Kevin as a friend understands the true meaning of a gift, even if it was for a short while. You will truly be missed, you have touched my heart!

I love you, Kevin!

Danielle

My Buddy!

kevin03
My best buddy! You have always been like a brother to me. Thank you for all the memories, for always being here for me, and encouraging me to be a better person. I am so proud of you and all of your achievements in life. Your loving and generous spirit has earned you the respect and honor of ALL of us. My heart is deeply broken and I will miss you greatly.

Love you always, Rach

Kevin and Rach 1995

Rachel and Kevin

Jan 28, 2007

A Friend and Inspiration

Nate Kev Wrestling
Nate Kev Wrestling 1

You pushed me to work harder everyday and in the end it paid off. You showed me what it took to be the best at something and you lead by your actions not just your words. You are an inspiration to me and I am a better man for having known you. You will never be forgotten. I love you.

Thank you, Kevin

Kevin Drew
Kevin will be missed... by all of us-- friends from the old high school, fraternity brothers at the UofM, and those he met thereafter.
Thanks for the good times, buddy.

Images of Kevin


Nate Kev Grad
1995 SPHS gradutiaon with Nathan Bannick


Kev senior pic_orig
Kevin's SPHS Senior Picture

Jan 2, 2007

Helpful Information on Depression, Suicide, and Grief

All of us who loved Kevin would do anything to prevent the disease that killed him from taking another life. Ignoring the facts or avoiding the situation is NOT the solution. So here are some very important links that will help educate readers on the complexity and severity of Depression and what can be done to help someone who is battling with this disease.

I have also listed some information that may give everyone insight into Grief and Bereavement and how to find help for yourself and others to get through this process.

Click on the titles below:

Helpful links to national and local organizations/support groups:

  • Depression Is Real Coalition, National
  • iFRED (International Foundation For Research and Education on Depression), National
  • SA\VE (Suicide Awareness\Voices of Education), Minnesota
  • SOS (Survivors Of Suicide), Web

Depression Facts

Clinical Depression
Depression is a medical illness just like cancer or diabetes. It is not just feeling "blue". Sadness or feeling "blue" are normal feelings that eventually pass. Feelings associated with depression last longer than a couple of weeks. If someone has depression, they can't talk themselves out of it. it is not due to weakness or a character flaw. It isn't some one's fault. Depression affects the whole body - feelings, thought, physical health, behavior, appearance and all areas of a person's life. Home, work, social life, school are all affected. Depression can be treated successfully for most people just like other illness.

Causes of Depression
Depression is triggered by a complex combination of genetic, psychological and environmental factors. Genetic means that in some families, depression is inherited - through genes. Psychological makeup refers to personality traits ans environmental factors means life circumstances. The brain is an organ of the body, just as are the heart, liver, kidneys, etc. If the chemicals in the brain (neurotransmitters) regulating how people think, act and feel, get out of balance, illness results in the brain and the result can be depression. Bad or stressful life events can trigger depression. Sometimes, it occurs unexpectedly, when everything is going just fine and there is no reason to get depression. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of.

Who Gets Depression
Anyone can get depression. Depression occurs in people of all ages, ethnic and economic groups, and race. Males and females - children and adults can get depression. More than 19 million people living in the United States are affected by depression every year.

Recognition of Depression
Because depression affects thinking, often people do not recognize that they have a treatable illness. They may not be able to think clearly or rationally or believe they can't be helped. Severe depression can cause thoughts of hopelessness and helplessness. The number one cause of suicide is untreated depression. Early recognition and treatment of depression can save lives.

Treatment
In 90% or more people, a combination of antidepressant medications and therapy works to treat depression. There is help. A person can feel good again!!

Possible Symptoms of Depression
Below are several common symptoms of depression . there can be other causes for these symptoms too, so it is important to discuss them with your doctor.
  • Increase aches and pains
  • Irritable
  • Feelings of sadness
  • Crying easily or more frequently
  • Sleep disturbance - unable to sleep or sleeps too much
  • Loss or increase in appetite
  • Weight loss or gain
  • Tiredness or fatigue most of the time
  • Difficulty enjoying things - loss of pleasure
  • Difficulty concentration
  • Discouraged/hopelessness
  • Self-Dislike
  • Feelings of worthlessness
  • Loss of energy
  • Indecisiveness
  • Isolation from family/friends
  • Loss of interest
  • Suicidal thoughts or wishes
  • Decreased sex drive

Signs To Watch For - Suicidal Behavior
  • Deepening depression
  • Final arrangements
  • Suddenly elevated mood
  • Risk taking or self destructive behavior
  • Presuicidal statements

If an individual will not allow you to take them to a clinic, hospital or crisis center, it is not a breach of confidentiality for you to report them to a therapist, MD, police, etc. Be persistent. Do not trust that they will get help on their own. Do not leave them alone if the crisis is acute.

Grief After Suicide

Grief After Suicide
  • Know that you can survive. Though you may feel you cannot survive, you can.
  • The intense feelings of grief can be overwhelming and frightening. This is normal. you are not going crazy; you are grieving.
  • You may experience feelings of guilt, confusion, anger, even fear. These are all common responses to grief.
  • You may even have thoughts of suicide. This too is common. It does not mean that you will act on these thoughts.
  • Forgetfulness is a common, but temporary side effect. Grieving takes so much energy that other things will fade in importance.
  • Keep asking "why" until you no longer need to ask.
  • Healing takes time. Allow yourself the time you need to grieve.
  • Grief has no predictable pattern or time line. Though there are elements of commonality in grief, each person and each situation is unique.
  • If you can delay making major decisions, do so.
  • The path of grief is one of twists and turns and you may often feel you are getting nowhere. Remember that even setbacks are a kind of progress.
  • This is the hardest thing you will ever do. Be patient with yourself.
  • Seek out people who are willing to listen when you need to talk and who understand when you need to be silent.
  • Avoid people who try and tell you what to feel and how to feel it and, in particular, those who think you should "be over it by now".
  • Give yourself permission to seek professional help.
  • Find a support group for survivors that provides a safe place for you to express your feelings or simply a place to go to be with other survivors who are experiencing some of then same things you are going through.

For information on grief support groups for suicide survivors, call Suicide Awareness\Voices of Education (SA\VE) at 612-946-7998.

Finding Help

Finding Help - Minnesota

Crisis Numbers
  • Hennepin County Medical Center's Crisis Intervention Center: 612-347-3161.
  • Ramsey County: 651-523-7900.
  • Abbott Northwestern Hospital (Mpls.) - Suicide Assessment Line: For parents and caregivers concerned about a teen. 612-863-8633.
Educational Materials, Advocacy, & Support Group Information
  • SAVE (Suicide Awareness\Voices of Education): Information on depression and suicide prevention. 1-888-511-SAVE or 952-946-7998.
  • Minnesota Depressive and Manic Depressive Association (MDMDA): Information on depression and bipolar illness and support group information. 612-379-7933.
  • Minnesota Association of Children's Mental Health (MACMH): Parent support group information. 1-800-528-4511 or 651-644-7333.
  • Mental Health Consumer/Survivor Network of MN: Consumer organization dedicated to self-help, education, and advocacy. 651-637-2800.
Suicide Survivor Grief Support Groups
  • South Mpls - Lutheran Church of Christ the Redeemer. JoAnne Dunstan 952-944-2478, Vicki Bresson 763-566-4063. (2nd & 4th Tues, 7-9:00pm)
  • Edina - Men's Breakfast Group @ Pearson's Restaurant. Pat Gromek 952-882-1246 or Don Sandberg 763-544-7315. (2nd Sat of the month, 8:30am)
  • Golden Valley - Valley Baptist Church. Bev Chipman 763-424-9418. (1st and 3rd Tues, 7-9:00pm)
  • Coon Rapids - Mercy Hospital. Gail Noiler 763-422-4594. (Mondays 7-9:00pm)
  • Brooklyn Park - Prince of Peace Lutheran Church. Mark and Linda Steinberg 763-786-2112. (2nd & 4th Thurs 7-9:00)
  • Stillwater - First Presbyterian. Anne Weaver 651-439-4380 x16. (2nd and 4th Monday 6:30 to 8:00pm)

Finding Help - National

National Crisis Numbers
  • 24-Hour National Suicide Number 1-800-SUICIDE
  • Boys Town National Hot line 1-800-448-3000
National Suicide Prevention Organizations
National Mental Health & Consumer Organizations


Personal Helping Resources
  • Personal Physician/Nurse
  • Employee Assistance Programs
  • Family, Friends, Co-Workers
  • Clergy
  • Support Groups

Jan 1, 2007

Memorial Services

Funeral services will be held at 1:30 PM on Thursday February 1, 2007 at New Creation World Outreach Church in North Mankato, with burial in Woodland Hills Cemetery. Visitation will be Thursday at the church beginning at 10:30 AM.

St. Peter Funeral Home is assisting the family with arrangements and they may be contacted by phone at (507) 931-2750 or by email at stpeterk@hickorytech.net.